Well, I only "played" at being a sub when I first started out in the Lifestyle, as a way of discovering if I was really made to be a Dom, but I've got some great sub friends, and an awesome sub myself, who can answer those questions.
So for the next few weeks, we here on the Poker, Sex, Doms & Toys blog are going to help you understand more about being a Dom, sub, vers, going to a BDSM club or even having anal.
So You Want to be a Dom: Part One.
You're with your partner and you're having fun. Maybe you're fucking them or they're fucking you, either way, something just feels...wrong. Something's missing from this lovely sexual encounter. Something needs to be done to make you feel more aroused than you already do.
What could it possibly be?
Here are Five Things/Ways to help get you started to recognizing if you're a Dom or not:
- Does the thought of being in control in the bedroom make you more aroused? Do you fantasize about telling your partner what to do and when?
- Do you ever have the urge to tie up your partner? To have them at your mercy sexually? To cum only when you tell them that they can?
- Do you ever want to bend your partner over and spank them? To see their ass turn red and know that it's because of you? (And yes, everyone's ass, white, black, Hispanic, Native American, Asian, etc. at some point will turn red if you spank it hard enough)
- Do you ever have the urge to take care of your partner? Is your entire being focused on them? Not just making sure that they get off during the encounter, but making sure that they are changed in some way by every encounter?
- Does the thought of being submissive or taking on a role of submission, being the one receiving orders turn you off?
If you answered yes to all five of these, then odds are, you're a Dom (Yay for you!)
If you answered yes to any of these you can be "Vers" or you could just be someone who is not locked down into the Lifestyle, but enjoys certain aspects of it, which is fine.
This is not the full list, of course not, because if it was we'd have a lot more Doms running around all over the place. But this is the first 5 and the most important five. Especially #4.
Tomorrow we'll do part one of "So You Want to be a Sub", so make sure you join us for that!